Forgotten
by cellochick373
Summary: Just a different take on what happened after the ep. where kahlan and richard were possessed... their thoughts and feelings on it, and where they might go from there.
1. Chapter 1

Currently one shot, maybe more.

* * *

_Fingers trailing a hot path down her sides. Smooth, hard muscle and skin beneath her touch. His mouth, hungry on hers. He grasped her sides, lifting her on to the table, and she bit down on her lip as his hands caressed her through the thin fabric of her dress. He drew closer, standing between her legs, and leaned forward, drawing her into another deep kiss. The heat in her belly was growing, and she wrapped her legs around behind him to pull him in closer to her. He dragged his fingers down her chest, and she threw her head back, and he moved ever closer, until... _

Kahlan bolted upright, breathing heavily. Looking around in the moonlight, she saw Richard's sleeping form on the other side of the fire. He stirred slightly as she stood, but didn't wake, and the brunette made her way out of the small clearing where they had set up camp.

Walking until the glow of the fire was no more than a faint spark, barely there at all, Kahlan finally settled herself onto a grassy patch and sighed. Her eyes closed, but quickly flew back open again as the images from her dream flashed behind her lids. She shivered, and tried to focus on the chilled night air and the soft grass beneath her.

After a moment, her stiff posture relaxed the tiniest of margins and her breathing slowed a bit more. Breathing in deeply as she regained some control over herself, Kahlan finally let her thoughts wander. _God, these dreams... They're going to kill me yet._

Ever since Kieran, the seeker from a thousand years ago, had possessed Richard and sent his lover's spirit into her body, Kahlan found herself dreaming more vividly than she had ever thought possible. The passion she had felt when Vivian's spirit had been in her body had astounded her, but after thinking about it for the past few nights she had come to the conclusion that it wasn't the passion itself that had surprised her, but rather the love she could also feel emanating from Kieran as well.

She wanted that with Richard, more than she was willing to admit to herself, but the fact that she knew she could never have anything even close to that with him was slowly eating away at her. Every time she closed her eyes, the images of what Kieran and Vivian had done- and not done- haunted her, reminding her incessantly of everything she could never have.

At every turn, she saw reminders of the future she didn't have, and perhaps the worst part was not knowing if Richard even remembered what had happened while Kieran had possessed him. She had the memories, but she was unsure if it was because of the intrinsically magical nature of her mind or if everyone would retain the memory as well.

He hadn't said anything about it, but she knew that he had sensed something was different about her. She had been careful not to touch him, or to let him brush against her even accidentally, lest it trigger a flood of memories in a situation where she couldn't hide it. It had been harder to avoid since Zedd had gone off on his own, but so far Kahlan had managed to halt any and all physical contact between herself and Richard. Still, the constant closeness was driving her crazy, and a constant reminder of everything she would never have.

There was a growing emptiness inside of her that she couldn't fill, and a tear fell as she allowed herself to feel the enormity of what she would miss as a confessor. Wiping her eyes, she slowly stood and walked back to the campsite, trying to delay as long as possible. Laying back down on her mat, Kahlan closed her eyes and tried to get a little more sleep before they had to start off again in the morning.

* * *

Richard laid on his back, staring up at the sky. He had woken to Kahlan moving restlessly in her sleep, breathing heavily. He was about to get up and go try to wake her when she woke on her own. Something compelled him to pretend to still be sleeping, and after a few minutes he heard Kahlan stand and walk away. Tracking her silently through the black night, he wondered what was going on.

Ever since they had been locked in the temple and possessed by the spirits, Kahlan had been acting different. Before, they had touched in casual situations on a daily basis, many times a day, but since the temple, he couldn't think of a single instance where they had touched. Any time they came close, Kahlan moved away from him as though burned. He was hopeful that maybe following her would provide some answers as to the change in her behavior.

He stopped suddenly, cursing himself under his breath for not realizing that Kahlan had halted up ahead, and held his breath while he waited to see if she noticed him. After a moment he exhaled and crept closer to where the brunette had stopped. Finally, he saw the glow of her white dress in the dark.

She was seated on a small patch of grass, her face turned away from him. Even from a distance, with her turned away from him, Richard could sense the pain coming off of her in waves. He watched her slowly relax in minute degrees, until she finally stood once more and wiped her eyes. The idea of Kahlan crying and being in any sort of pain caused a protectiveness to flare in him that he had never known he had.

Going quickly back to the camp, he laid down and pretended to be asleep as he heard her steps draw near and stop. Gradually he could hear her breathing even back out into sleep, and he sat up slowly. Gazing at her sleeping form, he could see a shadow on her face that hadn't been there before they had gone to the temple.

Somehow, for some reason, he felt like he was missing something from that memory. He just remembered Zedd unbinding Kieran, and the next thing he remembered was walking out of the temple. Somewhere in between, he could almost sense something else, but any time he tried to think about it directly, he came up with nothing.

Sighing, he was about to go back to sleep when he glanced back at Kahlan and saw her eyes were open. Startled, he didn't say anything, just gazed into the blue of her eyes. There had always been a depth to them that he couldn't quite discern or understand, but looking now, he saw a new layer of sorrow that seemed to cloud the blue and make it foggy.

He broke eye contact first, and stood. "I'm going to make breakfast, you want some?" The brunette shook her head, sitting up and wincing at the headache she had. Looking over at her in concern, Richard asked, "Are you ok?" She nodded. "Just tired, I guess."

He sighed but didn't press the matter. They had been able to pick up horses in the last village they passed through, so after a quick breakfast they started off for the next village on the map. Riding behind Kahlan, Richard watched in concern as she swayed more and more as the day progressed. Normally a skilled rider, the lack of balance worried him, but he didn't want to risk a confrontation.

A little before midday, they were heading up a hill when he saw her sway twice before slumping and sliding out of the saddle. Her body had barely hit the ground before Richard was off his horse and at her side. He reached out to pull her to him but the second his fingertips brushed her pale skin, he was hit by a barrage of images.

_Being possessed by Kieran. Sending Vivian's spirit into Kahlan. Kissing her- her kissing him back with a hunger he barely recognized as hers. Untying the front of her dress, sliding it off her shoulders. His shirt being tugged by eager hands off of his body, while her mouth placed hot kisses along his throat. Lifting her onto the table as she explored every inch of skin, and caressing her skin through her dress. Sliding it up her thighs as her mouth opened and a breathy moan escaped_. _Not being able to get enough of the soft skin beneath his fingers. Dragging a hand down her chest as he delighted in the feel of her skin and her legs wrapped around him, bringing him closer-_

With a jolt, the memory ended, and Richard found himself staring down at Kahlan's prone form. Unable to comprehend what he had just seen, he felt for a pulse. There was a faint one, but he wanted to get her better settled before he tried to figure out what was wrong and what he had just seen.

He had seen a small stand of trees off to the left that would make for a good temporary camp, and he carried her there as fast as he could, trying not to jostle her frail form. He was nearly thee when he felt Kahlan stir in his arms. Slowing to a walk, he looked down at her as her eyes blinked open in confusion. Looking up at him, she opened her mouth to say something, but he shook his head and she closed it again.

Her eyes drifted closed, and her head fell against his chest as he continued walking. Reaching the campsite, he gently laid her down on the ground, rummaging through his rucksack for a canteen in case she was thirsty when she woke up. Sitting at her side and gently stroking her face, he finally let himself think on the images he had seen when he first touched her.

The memory of it was too vivid to have been conjured or imagined, and it made sense when he put it in to fill in the gap in his memory that had been bothering him earlier. It would explain Kahlan's reluctance to touch him since then, too, as well as the dreams she had been having. Richard broke off his train of though as Kahlan stirred, and looked down.

Kahlan woke to the feeling of a gentle hand tenderly stroking the side of her face, and as she blinked her eyes open, she couldn't stop herself from leaning into the touch. As her vision cleared, she saw Richard staring at her with concern, and she closed her eyes and then opened them again to be sure she wasn't seeing things. "Do you want water?"

She nodded, and he carefully brought the canteen to her lips, tipping back small swallows of water. He stopped before she would have liked him to, but he shook his head and said, "I don't want you getting sick because you had too much." She sighed, but nodded.

"What happened?"

The concern on his face multiplied. "You passed out while we were riding." He saw the worried look race across her face before she hid it behind the mask, but said nothing. "I'm sorry, I've just been tired lately."

Watching her closely, he said, "Not sleeping well?" Kahlan looked at him sharply for a moment before replying, "I guess not." She moved to stand to try and escape further questions, but her legs gave out and she found herself being held up only by the support of Richard's arms.

He carefully lowered her back to the ground before saying, "You have to rest."

"I'm fine, Richard, just-" She stopped short as he took her hand in his. "Please, Kahlan. Just rest for now." Something in his eyes caught her off guard as she looked up at him- a protectiveness that she wasn't prepared to deal with. Able only to nod, she leaned her head back against the pack as he squeezed her hand for a second and then stood.

"Try to get some sleep while I get food," he said, and she nodded again. Watching his retreating form, the brunette wondered if he knew what had happened between them in the temple. Her thoughts jumped around for a few more seconds before her eyes drifted shut and she slipped into sleep.

Later that night, Richard sat by the fire and watched Kahlan sleep. She had woken briefly to try and eat something, and he knew that she really had tried, but after only a few bites she had pushed her plate away. Now, he could see the faint quiverings of her body beneath the layers of blankets on top of her. She had started shivering shortly after falling asleep after eating, and even with both of their blankets on top of her, she was still shaking.

Indecision marked Richard's face as he sat, but he finally couldn't stand the sight of her shaking from cold any longer and he crossed the short distance to her mat. Sliding his boots off, he slowly slipped under the blankets and carefully drew Kahlan's body to his. Her entire body shook as he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her, but as he held her the shaking gradually began to subside.

Kahlan shifted in his arms and turned on her side so she was facing him. "Richard?" Her voice was sleepy and slightly questioning, but held no sign of anger. "Shh. Just rest," he whispered as she allowed herself to sink back into the warmth of his arms. Drawing the blankets tighter around them both, Richard finally allowed himself to doze, waking every few minutes to make sure that Kahlan was still ok.

A bird cawed loudly overhead, jolting Richard awake. In a panic, he looked down at Kahlan and sighed with relief as he saw the gentle rise and fall of her chest. Gently brushing a strand of hair out of her face, he was surprised to be met with bright blue eyes scrutinizing him.

"I didn't know you were awake," he said. Kahlan just kept looking at him steadily, measuring him with her gaze. She had woken to find herself lying flush against Richard, her head nestled in the crook of his neck. He had one arm wrapped protectively around her, and she could feel the soft press of his lips in her hair. She couldn't remember how they had ended up sleeping together, but she supposed she should just be thankful that they both still had all their clothes on.

Tilting her head to watch Richard as he slept, Kahlan wondered once more if he now remembered the temple. Something was different in the way he looked at her, in the way he was holding her now, but she wasn't sure if she should write that off to him simply being worried about her. Whatever was different was nice, though, especially as the brunette became more aware of the sweeping exhaustion that still permeated her body.

Every muscle felt weak, and it was suddenly all she could do to keep her eyes open. Looking back at Richard, she saw him watching her and pulled away the tiniest bit in the hopes that he wouldn't notice the effort she was having to exert just to stay awake. As he felt Kahlan pull away, Richard moved to stand, afraid that he had gone too far. As he shifted, he was surprised when a slender hand fell on his arm.

Holding his body still, he looked back down at the brunette. She was paler than she had been the night before and her eyes were closed, but he still heard the barely whispered "Stay." Lying back down, he tentatively wrapped his arms around her once more, and when he encountered no resistance, he pulled her back to him.

He felt her sigh into his chest and relax, but it wasn't until he heard her breathing even out into sleep that he allowed himself to doze off again.

Richard woke with a start to find his arms empty. Looking about frantically, he saw Kahlan sitting near the embers of the previous night's fire and breathed a sigh of relief. Standing and stretching, he walked over and sat down next to her.

"How are you?" He asked, taking in her appearance. Some color had returned to her face, but she still looked far weaker than he would have liked and he frowned slightly when she said, "Better."

"Are you sure? I mean, you were pretty wiped out, and then falling...what happened?" Glancing up for a half a second, Kahlan replied, "I'm fine, don't worry." Letting it drop as she clearly had no intention of discussing it further, Richard hesitantly said, "Kahlan? Can I ask you something?"

She sighed and looked up at him, meeting his eyes briefly. Her eyes begged him not to force her into a discussion of what he had seen, and her face reflected the same. Shaking his head he said, "Never mind. It can wait."

Pushing herself to a standing position, Kahlan said, "We should head north from here. It'll be the quickest way to make up for the time we've lost." Extinguishing the last of the embers, Richard walked over to where the brunette stood with the horses. As she prepared to swing up into the saddle, he caught her arm.

She paused and looked at him as he said, "We're taking it easy for now, Kahlan."

"Fine." The brusque reply dismissed his concerns as she swung the rest of the way into the saddle, and he sighed. Clucking to her horse, Kahlan forced herself to not look back at Richard. He had come so close to asking her about the temple mere moments before, she had seen the need to know in his eyes, but some sense of compassion had stopped him even as the words were on his tongue.

All she knew now was that she was thankful he had let it drop for the moment. There was no way she could handle having that discussion with him right now, and if she was being honest with herself, she didn't ever want to have it if it was going to change things between them. Turning her attention back to the horizon, she forced herself to focus solely on riding. She couldn't afford to cost them any more time than she already had, and she was determined to keep up with Richard.

Mounting his own horse, Richard kept one eye on Kahlan while he thought on the events of the past 48 hours. He still had no idea what had happened to Kahlan to drain her so completely, let alone whether the things he had seen in the temple had actually happened. The complete refusal on Kahlan's part to even acknowledge that something had happened worried him, but he knew he would get nothing out of her until she was ready.

Sighing and turning his thoughts to other matters that he might be able to make some headway in, Richard settled into the saddle for the long journey ahead.

* * *

Ok. Please please please review, i would really appreciate it! I'm thinknig maybe do a continuation after the one episode where kahlan has the whole blood rage thingy going on...idk what it's called, but it seems like it might fit. Let me know if you have thoughts or suggestions!


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the wait!

* * *

Hanging in his bonds, Richard squeezed his eyes closed and opened them again, hoping that this was nothing but a nightmare. As he opened his eyes, he was met with the same scene that had been there before: Darken Rahl, Gillar, and Kahlan, strapped tightly to a near-vertical slab of wood.

He could see the blatant panic and fear in Kahlan's eyes, and as his gaze fell on the tight rope holding her hands to the table, he remembered sitting around a fire with Renn and hearing him say, _"What happened to you was just as bad." _

Kahlan had told him briefly what had happened when she was a child, the shame clear on her face, and Renn had elaborated enough that Richard knew her father had bound her with rope when she refused to obey him. Thinking back, he wished he had been bold enough to wipe her tears away and comfort her, and to listen to Renn.

He now knew all too well what Renn had meant when he told Richard that the reason Kahlan didn't act on her feedings was because she was afraid to hurt him with her powers. _Maybe if I had been strong enough to ask her... maybe we would have ended up on a different path- one that didn't lead us here._

Struggling to get free, Richard was helpless to do anything but watch as he saw the terror in Kahlan's eyes build when Gillar picked up one of the Shurkia needles off the table. He couldn't do anything as he watched her try to escape, only to cut and bruise herself on the tight rope restraints.

He saw Gillar advance, and he heard Kahlan's screams echo throughout the room as the wizard pushed each needle into place. He heard her gasp as the last needle was pushed into her throat, and to his horror he watched her body begin to shake and convulse. Fighting against his restraints with all his strength, Richard stopped as Kahlan suddenly stilled and her eyes flew open.

The next moments were a blur of confusion as he heard Gillar yell something to Darken Rahl before the needles flew out of Kahlan and into the wizard's body, killing him. He saw the two Mord Sith's eyes go black, along with the two soldiers also in the room, and to his surprise they turned on Rahl at Kahlan's command_. _

_"Kill him."_

Her voice was cold and steely, and there was a hard edge to it that he had never heard from her before. Rahl fought the soldiers off as Richard watched, still bound tightly, and Kahlan seemed to change tactics.

_"Release the seeker."_

The next thing he knew, one of the Mord Sith was releasing him and he sprinted into the hall where Rahl had run only seconds before. Leaping at Rahl as blue flame surrounded him, Richard felt his sword connect for the briefest of seconds before the other man was gone. Turning, he ran back to the room where he had left Kahlan. He didn't know what had happened to her before, but he knew he had seen her somehow confess four people at once, without ever touching one of them.

Slowing as he entered the room, he saw Kahlan standing with her back to him. Reaching out to touch her arm, he was unprepared for her when she spun, hand outstretched and at his throat, ready to confess him. Her eyes were completely dark, the color of blood, he thought to himself, as he said, "Kahlan, it's ok, it's me. It's Richard."

There was a split second where he thought that she hadn't even heard him, but then the deep red slowly faded until he was looking into her icy blue eyes again. She looked at him and seemed to almost smile for a brief moment before her legs buckled and she fell. Jumping forward, he barely caught her before she hit the ground, and he lowered her gently the rest of the way.

"Kahlan? Kahlan are you alright?" He asked urgently, moving her hair out of her face. Her eyes slowly opened and she struggled to sit up.

"I think so." Her voice was soft, and there was something sad in it, something that made her sound like she was lost, or in pain, or both.

"What was that?" Not meeting his eyes, she said, "We need to get Emma and Laura out of here." Looking over at Chase's family, he nodded and stood to go and free them. When he turned back, he saw Kahlan still on the ground, but she was holding something in her hand. Kneeling to see what she had, he barely contained a gasp when he saw the small vial of pearly liquid that she held. "There's one left," she whispered. "Do you realize what we could do with this?"

He glanced up and met her eyes, knowing what they could do with the elixir, before looking over at Chase's wife and knowing what they would do. He helped Kahlan stand, steadying her when she swayed on her feet. "Go," she said, "Chase needs to know that his family is safe. I'll meet you at the camp." Richard opened his mouth, about to protest that he wasn't leaving her after what had just happened, but the look on Kahlan's face stopped him. Glancing back at her often, he led the other prisoners out of the building.

As soon as he was out of sight, Kahlan collapsed to the floor. She had never felt so drained in her life, and everything hurt more than she had known possible. Blood still trickled from where the needles had been, and she forced herself into a standing position. Moving along the wall, she stopped every few steps to catch her breath as she searched for something that she could bandage the wounds with.

Finally giving up, she sat on the floor and ripped strips of cloth from the hem of her dress. Tying them tightly around her wounds, she left the mark on her throat open to the air. Slowly standing once more, she began the long journey back to the camp. The early morning light assaulted her eyes, making her wince even at the marginal brightness.

When she finally arrived at the camp, she was all too relieved to see Richard nowhere in sight. Going to her bag, she took out a change of clothes and walked back into the privacy of the woods, ignoring the questioning looks that everyone else had been sending her way.

Alone once more, she slipped off the remaining tatters of her previous dress and slowly slipped her new dress on. The material felt rough and heavy on her body, but she was glad to see that it covered all the wounds besides the one on her throat. Gingerly making her way back to the camp, she set her bag back down and walked to where she could see Richard standing.

Turning at a sound behind him, Richard saw Kahlan walking towards him, her face pale and drawn. When she stepped beside him, he slowly reached an arm around her, pulling her close to him for support. She felt like she had lost thirty pounds in the last twenty four hours, and the frailty of her body scared him. Holding her more tightly, he turned back to the scene in front of him and watched as Chase drank the elixir Kahlan had found. He moved to kiss his wife, and when nothing happened, Richard could feel Kahlan smile.

Allowing himself to smile too at the happy scene in front of them, he still couldn't help but feel a sense of loss at the thought that it could have been him and Kahlan. Shaking his head to clear any thoughts of what might have been, he turned to Kahlan. "We should head out. Chase and his family are going to stay with the resistance, and I think it would be wise to get moving ourselves."

She nodded and went to grab her pack. As she reached for it, Chase's wife picked it up and handed it to her. "I can never thank you enough," she said quietly.

"I'm just glad to see you all together as a family again," Kahlan said, a confused smile on her face.

"I heard what Darken Rahl said," the smaller woman said, "So I know what you gave up when you gave that potion to Chase." The smile slowly faded from Kahlan's face as she looked over at Richard. Emma continued, saying, "Someday you'll find a way to be together." Nodding and praying silently that the other woman was right, Kahlan walked over to Richard, who was holding a scrap of paper.

"What's that?" she asked, looking at it curiously. With a smile, he said, "It's from Zedd."

An hour or so later, they were still puzzling over what the wizard was trying to tell them as they walked. Suddenly something in the message clicked in Kahlan's mind, and she said, "Maybe it's not when, but where. The woods of Morrow."

"Where are they?" Richard asked, hoping that maybe they were nearby.

"They're in D'Hara. We have a long journey ahead of us," replied Kahlan, a note in her voice that caused him to turn around.

"We can stop to rest if you want," he said, watching her for her response, "After all, you must be exhausted after what Gillar's magic did to you." Her eyes flew up to meet his before she looked away again.

"I'm not so sure it was just Gillar's magic," she said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"There are legends of an ability, said to be possessed by only the most powerful confessors," she said, "It's an uncontrollable force known as Con Dar- the blood rage."

"Why did it happen?" Richard asked.

Kahlan shook her head. "Maybe it was something Gillar did to me...or maybe it was you, Richard." Looking at her in surprise, he waited for her to elaborate. "I was so afraid that you would become Rahl's slave. I couldn't let that happen."

She looked down again, but this time Richard gently lifted her face with his hand. "Whatever you did, Kahlan, you saved me. You saved us both."

Sighing, she quietly said, "If you hadn't tried to save me, Darken Rahl would be dead right now. You risked everything for something that can never be."

Shaking his head Richard said forcefully, "Rahl was wrong when he said that ours was an unimaginable fate." Taking one of her hands in his, he continued, "The only unimaginable fate is one without you, Kahlan." Pulling her to him in a tight embrace, he stroked her hair as he said, "Rahl was wrong about something else, too. I will fulfill the prophecy. I'm going to kill Rahl, and I'm going to do it with you at my side."

A smile touched Kahlan's lips at his words, but when she finally stepped back, Richard could still see a shadow on her face. Trying to assuage her fears, he drew her closer, whispering, "It's going to be ok, Kahlan, I promise." He felt her nod into his chest as she fitted herself against him, holding on tightly and trying desperately to believe what he was saying. "I promise," he repeated...

* * *

Richard bolted upright as Kahlan's scream pierced through the fog of his dreams. Sword in hand, he looked around to try and see where the intruder was. Seeing no one, his eyes fell on Kahlan's still-sleeping form as she thrashed around, caught in the throes of a nightmare.

Dropping to his knees by her side, he shook her, trying frantically to wake her. Despite his best efforts, she remained locked in her dream. Finally resorting to simply yelling her name, he was unprepared for her to wake suddenly, bolting up and straight into his arms. She struggled against his hold, fighting with every bit of her strength against the restraint.

"Kahlan, Kahlan it's me Richard, calm down, you're safe, it's ok," he said, trying to no avail to calm her down. Finally she stopped struggling long enough for his words to sink in, and she pulled away and looked up at him for a split second before throwing herself back into his arms. Once more caught off guard, Richard couldn't think of anything to do but hold Kahlan and stroke her hair to try and soothe her as he felt her start to cry.

Her body shook with the force of her tears, but eventually her sobs slowly quieted as long minutes passed, until finally she exhaled deeply and sat up. Looking up at Richard and seeing the intense concern on his face filled her with guilt, and she murmured, "I'm sorry, Richard."

"Don't be." He held a finger to her lips as she opened her mouth to say something else. "I know what you're going to say, Kahlan, and I already know it's not true. Please, just tell me what happened. I want to help you, but I can't if you keep shutting me out." Richard could see her hesitating, having an internal debate with herself over whether or not to tell him. Deciding he needed to do something to tip the scales in his favor, he reached out and took her hands in his.

She glanced up at him before looking back at their hands. "You always know how to get me to do what you want," she said with an attempt at a smile. Sighing, she gazed into the embers of the fire and said, "It's just a dream, and I know it shouldn't affect me this much..."

Squeezing her hands, Richard said, "What happened?"

"I was back with Gillar," she said slowly, "He was doing the same thing as before, and everything happened the same way it did in the beginning. But then the Con Dar just...it completely took me over, and when you came back, I couldn't help myself. I confessed you, Richard, without even thinking about it. I confessed you..."

The self-loathing in her voice was plain for Richard to hear, and he drew her close to him. "You would never do that, Kahlan. It was just a dream." She looked up at him, her eyes pained. "But what if it's not me? What if that happens to me again and I can't stop myself? I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you because of me."

"We've been over this before, Kahlan, remember?" Her mind flashed involuntarily back to the sorceress Shota's prophecy that she would betray the seeker, and she thought silently about everything that had happened after. The thing that stood out most in her memory was Richard kissing her- a few moments of perfection that ended all too quickly when reality caught up to her actions.

She also remembered all too vividly Richard being captured and tortured because she had left him. The Mord Sith Denna had nearly broken him by the time she ended up in the cell next to his, and she still hated to think about how close she had come to losing him. After they escaped, she had told him that there was no greater betrayal she could commit than leaving him, and she knew that was what he was alluding to now.

Sighing as she came back to the present moment, Kahlan knew that Richard was right, but it still did little to calm her fears. Leaning her head against his chest, she closed her eyes as he began to stroke her hair once more.

"Kahlan?"

"Hmm?" she replied, caught up in the feelings being evoked by being so close to Richard. "What happened in the temple was real, wasn't it?" Opening her eyes, Kahlan looked at him before nodding slowly. She expected him to say more, to ask questions or probe into what had happened, but all he said was, "I'm glad," before kissing the side of her head and pulling her close to him once more.

His fingers ran gently up and down the sides of her arms absentmindedly, occasionally brushing against her side. She shivered involuntarily, and his fingers lingered for a moment longer than necessary. "You're not the only one who's scared, you know," he said quietly.

Kahlan looked at him, surprised. He gently reached out a finger and brushed it across the mark on her throat. "Being around me puts you in danger, Kahlan. I thought I was going to lose you today, and I almost did. I mean, look at this Con Dar, or blood rage, or whatever you want to call it. I saw how much that took from you, and it was all my fault. If something happened to you, because of me..."

This time it was Kahlan who placed a silencing finger on his lips as she said, "You could never hurt me Richard. You've proven that in the past, and I truly believe that I'm never safer than when I'm with you." A small frown tugged at his mouth as he replied, "But still...when Gillar was torturing you... You wouldn't have to suffer like that if I left on my own."

He felt her tense slightly and said, "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I thought about it, I mean really thought about it, and I realized that leaving you isn't even an option for me. I meant what I said earlier about you being at my side when I defeat Darken Rahl, and now..."

Raising a questioning brow, Kahlan prompted, "Now?" Cupping the side of her face, Richard said, "Now, I know that there's a way for us to be together. And after the temple...I want that with you, Kahlan, so much it hurts. To be able to show you how I feel, to finish what was started in the temple...with that thought in my head, there is absolutely no way for me to leave you."

Staring at Richard's smoldering eyes, Kahlan barely suppressed the desire to kiss him. Instead, she moved even closer to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He eventually stood, never letting go of her hand, and pulled her with him to his sleeping mat.

Without questioning, Kahlan laid down with him and couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on her face when Richard immediately wrapped her securely in his arms, pulling her close to him.

"Goodnight, Richard," she whispered drowsily. Inhaling the sweet scent that was uniquely Kahlan's, Richard looked down at her and thought that he had never seen anyone more beautiful. Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, "Goodnight."

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Hope you liked it..i have to say im pretty frustrated about not having any new episodes to work with, but oh well. Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

New and improved!

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As Zedd wandered ahead, Richard turned to Kahlan as she said, "You didn't think she was pretty?" He groaned as he replied, "There's nothing I can say that won't get me in trouble, is there?" She smirked back at him, clearly pleased with herself. In his heart, though, Richard knew the answer to her question. The only reason he had even given the imposter a second glance was because she looked like Kahlan... and that was also why he hadn't been interested in any of her advances. He loved Kahlan for her spirit and intelligence, and for who she was, not just for her body.

_T__hough I'm certainly not complaining about that_ he thought, glancing over at the brunette. Her confessors dress clung to her lithe body in all the right places, fitting her curves and slender frame perfectly. Richard allowed his eyes to wander down her body a bit, getting lost in his admiration. Glancing over at Richard, Kahlan saw the look on his face and mistook it for something else entirely. Stopping, she caught Richard's arm and he paused at the touch.

Zedd was far ahead and out of sight now, but Kahlan's voice was still quiet when she said, "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to be with someone else." His eyes widened at her words, and he was quick to shake his head and say, "Never." She looked at him with sad eyes, and her voice was barely audible as she said, "Really, Richard, it's ok. There are plenty of beautiful women out there who would be more than happy to help the seeker- in any way possible. I can't expect you to put your life on hold..."

Her heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest as she forced herself to say the words. The thought of Richard being with another woman made her sick to her stomach, but Kahlan knew she would never want Richard to forfeit his own happiness on her account. Who was she to deny him the chance to live his life when she had nothing to offer him in return?

Trying to figure out how to respond to Kahlan, all Richard could think of was the look on her face when she had seen him with the blonde from Ixwood. Remembering the look of fleeting pain that crosses her features before she buried it, Richard knew that he never wanted to cause her to feel like that. He never wanted her to doubt how much he loved her, and only her. Taking her face between his hands he said, "No, Kahlan, I would never do that to you. I don't _want_ to be with anyone else, not even if she looks exactly like you."

She raised an eyebrow, and he tried to explain it to her. "I don't want you for how you look, Kahlan, I don't just want your body- I want all of you, and I can't get that with anyone except you. I will wait for you, for the rest of my life if I have to." Kahlan searched his face for any sign of insincerity, but she found only his earnest eyes looking back at her. "What if you don't always feel like that, Richard? One day someone new wanders along, and you fall in love with her... Please, just tell me now, because I don't know if I could handle it-" Her voice broke, and she turned her eyes downward as she felt a tear slip down her cheek.

Richard was quick to tip her chin up, and he gently wiped her tears. He shook his head once more when her tears had slowed. "That's not going to happen, Kahlan. You're it for me, all I could ever want, and nothing could ever change that." He stroked her hair tenderly, looking deep into her eyes.

Probing his gaze with hers, Kahlan found herself getting lost in the depth of the love she found looking back at her. His dark eyes seemed to radiate warmth and caring, and his hand continued moving slowly over her hair. Feeling her reason start to slip the tiniest of margins, Kahlan hesitated for a moment before giving in and pressing her lips against Richard's. She could feel his surprise, but he quickly responded, pulling her closer to him.

There was a quiet desperation to the kiss that made Richard feel like crying as he sensed the pain behind it. He could feel the harsh want paired with despair in Kahlan's lips, and he ran a hand down the small of her back and tugged her closer, trying to ease her pain. A soft moan escaped her lips as she allowed herself to be pulled closer to Richard, and he smiled. Her body melted into his until he couldn't decipher where one ended and the other began. Richard's free hand tangled in her luscious hair, and he felt her hands snaking around his neck. Feeling herself getting lost in the kiss, Kahlan pulled back reluctantly.

As much as she wanted to continue, she forced herself to listen to the tiny voice of reason that could still be heard in the back of her mind. She left her arms around his neck, however, and leaned her head against his chest, feeling his taught muscles heaving beneath his shirt. "Thank you," she whispered, not moving from her position. He nodded, stroking her hair, as he kissed the top of her head and asked, "For what?"

Struggling to articulate what she was feeling, Kahlan finally said, "For not giving up on me." At that he smiled softly and said, "Never." His hand at her back tightened its hold, pulling her the rest of the way into him, as she embraced him tightly, holding on as though he was her only lifeline in a stormy sea. After several long moments passed, she finally disentangled herself from his arms and turned away from him.

Richard could hear the catch in Kahlan's voice as she said, "This doesn't change anything, Richard, you know that right?" When he nodded, she turned back to him and reached for his hand. She squeezed it hard, and he could see the longing and the silent apology in her eyes. He knew that the kiss had been her way of trying to tell him what she was feeling, and he knew that the forced distance between them hurt her just as much as it hurt him.

Every time she kissed him, he could feel her love, and every time, he could feel her fear. The fear always overwhelmed the desire, and she always pulled away from him and back into herself. Anger rose in him as he thought about what Kahlan had never been able to have as a result of her power. The thought that she hadn't had a choice and never would was bad enough, but was she also to be denied the right to just be a woman? She was the one person he could think of who was most worthy of love, and yet she was consistently denied it. Looking at her sad eyes, Richard felt his anger melt into a sadness that seemed to settle deep in his bones. Her whole life, Kahlan had been taught that fear was her ally, and that she had to listen to it. He wasn't sure how he was ever going to find a way to put her fear to rest, and the thought terrified him more than anything else.

Richard had meant what he said about waiting forever, and he knew that he could never love anyone else, but being with Kahlan and still being unable to _be _with her was a fate worse than torture to Richard. From the moment she had come into his life, Kahlan had completed him, making him whole and filling in holes he had never known he'd had. Everything about her was perfect, and Richard vowed once more that he would find a way to be with her if it was the last thing he did.

Squeezing her hand back he brushed a lock of hair back from her face and said, "Come on. We'd better try to catch up to Zedd before he comes looking."

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the end. I just didnt think it was quite complete when i went back and re-read it! hope you liked the additions!


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